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A Reflection



(5) 3 years ago I spent the night with my mom in the ER. She was septic. We were told her bowel had ruptured and wouldn’t make it another 24 hours. I remember not sleeping at all as she was totally incoherent. Every noise made me jolt to check her, fearing it was her last breath. I called family to break the news. She came home that night on hospice and, surrounded by family & friends, my brother’s high school principal preformed the Anointing of the Sick. The next morning she woke up, not remembering any of it. She received nothing to combat the sepsis, took herself off hospice and lived another 15 months. This year, looking back has me reflecting on the many ways going through my mom’s journey with her and losing her has changed who I am today for both better and worse.

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I can’t stand people who take their parents for granted

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At the same time, i have zero tolerance for parents who give their kids anything less than their best

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I’m in a constant state of wanting time to stand still and fast forward all at the same time

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I’ve become a much more empathetic and giving person

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I’ve gained more understanding of what makes people the way they are

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Family matters most

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Not all friendships are meant to last but those that are will be there without ever being asked

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You will find new, unexpected friendships if you are open to them

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It can be very helpful to respectfully ask your doctor/nurses questions or add your input

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I have the greatest appreciation for medical staff that built a rapport with patients

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I am ultrasensitive to hearing medical staff talk about work things from their perspective

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ER-centered conversations often give me flashbacks

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Not sure why but I think about the staff that was involved the night my mom died a lot

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Writing is incredibly beneficial for processing

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I’m now a “crier”

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More people can relate than you’d think

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I get jealous of girls that still have their mom

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I don’t let stupid things bother me

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I’m less judgmental

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I prefer sentimental things over material but would choose time over both

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I will never understand how months can continue to pass but I still feel like it never really happened

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