A couple days ago Tbone suggested i put something on the letterboard we had laying around and set it up somewhere. Well, i don’t have a clever bone in my body and the first thing that came to mind was my mom’s email (and sometimes overenthusiastic text) signature. My mom was always something I am not - an optimist. Constantly thinking of new business ventures and ways to achieve her goals. Nothing was handed to her. The life she gave me & my brothers was one she worked really, really hard for and this phrase embodied it all. Her life was what she made it.
Unfortunately, when she started feeling sick, that optimism was swept away. I saw a different side of her. Before she was a woman who could pull herself out of the shittiest of situations with an entire family of 6 on her back. When she was sick she lost that and, while I totally understand why, it was so incredibly hurtful to watch. Being terminally ill changes people and when it’s someone you love it’s almost like a death before the death. I had to say goodbye to the strongest woman i knew and accept the one in front of me with zero control over her fate. There were times i distanced myself because i couldn’t stand to see her in that condition or bear to hear the things she would say. I never would have thought i’d miss her overbearing optimism or go-getter attitude because, unfortunately, that’s not me but there are times i still desperately need her push and this simple phrase always seems to pop into my head. 🖤