A couple days ago Tbone suggested i put something on the letterboard we had laying around and set it up somewhere. Well, i don’t have a clever bone in my body and the first thing that came to mind was my mom’s email (and sometimes overenthusiastic text) signature. My mom was always something I am not - an optimist. Constantly thinking of new business ventures and ways to achieve her goals. Nothing was handed to her. The life she gave me & my brothers was one she worked really, really hard for and this phrase embodied it all. Her life was what she made it.
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Unfortunately, when she started feeling sick, that optimism was swept away. I saw a different side of her. Before she was a woman who could pull herself out of the shittiest of situations with an entire family of 6 on her back. When she was sick she lost that and, while I totally understand why, it was so incredibly hurtful to watch. Being terminally ill changes people and when it’s someone you love it’s almost like a death before the death. I had to say goodbye to the strongest woman i knew and accept the one in front of me with zero control over her fate. There were times i distanced myself because i couldn’t stand to see her in that condition or bear to hear the things she would say. I never would have thought i’d miss her overbearing optimism or go-getter attitude because, unfortunately, that’s not me but there are times i still desperately need her push and this simple phrase always seems to pop into my head. 🖤
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