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The First Birthday Without Her

They say when you lose someone, the following holiday season is the hardest. Well, lucky me, it’s been almost 6 months and I just so happen to be starting off the holiday season with my birthday. I’ve never been big on celebrating (or alerting social media) but, like every big day, my mom never failed to find a way to make it special. For years she would make tacos, light some candles on a chocolate cake and obnoxiously sing happy birthday before giving me whatever she could find that was the “latest and greatest” thing that year. This year and going forward she will be noticeably absent and for some reason, as if that doesn’t suck enough, it is coincidentally coinciding with a lot of “lasts”.... the last candy bar from the oversized box she gave us on Easter, the last dog treat from the delivery we unexpectedly received after she died... I’d give anything to celebrate this day together one more time. No gifts or cake necessary. But instead, I realize I’m lucky to be surrounded by so many wonderful and supportive family and friends.. some hairy, some not so much. I just wish that she would start haunting us like she promised. It is officially October after all.. 👻

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