It’s been two years since my worst nightmare became a reality. Two years since i held your hand and you fought to thank me and tell me you were ready. I wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready. And, truth be told, i should have been the one thanking you... for being the best mom I could have ever asked for, for not giving me the sister i wanted because it meant that i, alone, got that special bond with you, for making sure we didn’t get everything we wanted but had everything we needed, for showing me the importance of kindness and generosity but not at the expense of being walked over, for making jokes about phallic shaped foods that I’ll forever laugh about when I see them, for pushing us towards success but encouraging us to enjoy the journey too, for showing me the importance of family and looking out for each other, for making my ‘101 Dalmatian dream’ a reality, for a private school education, for countless hours spent driving me to and from activities, for never missing a game/event and the obnoxious whistle that let me know you were proud, for teaching me the importance of never showing up empty handed and that it’s better to have too much food than not enough, for always being the life of the party, for being a parent first and a friend second, for showing me that life isn’t always easy but it’s how you handle it that matters most, for encouraging us to save and be self-sufficient, for your sense of humor and pranks, for always trying to wear a brave face even when we were all terrified, for telling it like it is, for being the family mediator, for your dance moves and one-of-a-kind singing voice, for showing me the value of a ‘thank you’ card, for being the 1st person I’d go to for answers, for making every holiday over-the-top special, for showing me what it means to be loyal in the face of adversity, for being so selfless that you spent your final months trying to prepare us for life without you, for the many other things I still can’t put into words, and for being someone worth missing this much. 🖤
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