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She was ready

On April 10th, 2018, after 2 years of fighting to leave her family in a way that would set us up for success, my mom told me she loved me and thanked me for the last time. She was always thanking me… for picking up groceries, disconnecting her IVs, taking her to chemo, getting her drinks (sans vodka), helping her with showers and getting in and out of bed.... she never failed to say the words. But I could never thank her enough for giving me 27 years with her and fighting so hard for my dad, my brothers and I in the final two. Her whole life was about us. She was the epitome of selflessness. She never bought anything for herself yet put all her money towards making sure those she cared about had anything they could have ever needed. My brothers and I weren’t spoiled, she taught us the importance of hard work and determination… the difference between needs and wants. Sorting through her things, I see just how little material possessions she had. As long as she had on comfortable clothes, she was happy. She was the most amazing woman I ever met and nothing I could ever write will adequately describe how much she meant to me. As her most immediate caregivers I think my dad and I especially will always have the “what ifs” in the back of our mind because she really truly was getting better. She was so proud for her hair to be coming back and the consistency in her scans. Cancer didn’t steal my mom away from us, anxiety and pneumonia did. My only solace, which again I cannot thank her enough for, is that she found the strength to tell us she was ready.

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